Some Quotes on MARRIAGE from Draper's Book of Quotations

Title : Draper's Book of Quotations for the Christian World
Edition : First
Copyright : Copyright © 1992 by Edythe Draper

MARRIAGE

A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple. -French Proverb

A good husband makes a good wife.

A good wife makes a good husband.

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. -Robert Quillen (1887–1948)

A man too good for the world is no good for his wife.- Jewish Proverb

A successful marriage demands a divorce; a divorce from your own self-love. -Paul Frost (1938– )

A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. -André Maurois (1885–1967)

A successful marriage is not a gift; it is an achievement. -Ann Landers (1918– )

A wife is not a guitar; you can’t play on her and then hang her on the wall. -Russian Proverb

An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.

As you would have a daughter, so choose a wife. -Italian Proverb

Be to her virtues very kind; Be to her faults a little blind. -Matthew Prior (1664–1721)

Better be half hang’d, than ill wed.

Better to break the engagement than the marriage.

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will become very happy. If you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher. -Socrates (470–399 b.c.)

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads that sew people together through the years. -Simone Signoret (1921–1985)

Choose neither a wife nor linen by candlelight. -Spanish Proverb

Choose your wife by ear rather than by eye.

Even if marriages are made in heaven, man has to be responsible for the maintenance.

Extreme independence is as destructive to a relationship as total dependence. -James C. Dobson (1936– )

He who does not honor his wife dishonors himself. -Spanish Proverb

Husbands and wives should constantly guard against overcommitment. Even worthwhile and enjoyable activities become damaging when they consume the last ounce of energy or the remaining free moments in the day. -James C. Dobson (1936– )

If your wife is small, stoop down and whisper in her ear.- Jewish Proverb

It is as absurd to say that a man can’t love one woman all the time as it is to say that a violinist needs several violins to play the same piece of music. Honoré de Balzac (1799–1850)

It is not marriage that fails, it is people that fail. -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878–1969)

It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. -Herbert Samuel

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Knit your hearts with an unslipping knot. -William Shakespeare (1564–1616)

Knowing when to say nothing is 50 percent of tact and 90 percent of marriage. -Sydney J. Harris (1917–1986)

Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave. -Martin Luther (1483–1546)

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. -Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742–1799)

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses.

Marriage is a perpetual test of character.

Marriage is heaven or hell. -German Proverb

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out. -Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533–1592)

Marriage is not for a moment; it is for a lifetime. It requires long and serious preparation. It is not to be leaped into, but entered with solemn steps of deliberation. For one of the most intimate and difficult of human relationships is that of marriage.

Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. -Louis K. Anspacher

Marriage may be an institution, but it is not a reform school.

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them. -Sydney Smith (1771–1845)

Married life is a marathon. . . . It is not enough to make a great start toward long-term marriage. You will need the determination to keep plugging. . . . Only then will you make it to the end. -James C. Dobson (1936– )

Pray one hour before going to war, Two hours before going to sea, Three hours before getting married.

She is but half a wife who is not a friend. -William Penn (1644–1718)

Success in marriage is more than finding the right person: it is being the right person. -Robert Browning (1812–1889)

Successful marriage is always a triangle: a man, a woman, and God.- Cecil Myers

The Christian is supposed to love his neighbor, and since his wife is his nearest neighbor, she should be his deepest love. -Martin Luther (1483–1546)

The man who is forever criticizing his wife’s judgment never seems to question her choice of a husband.

The man who would rather play golf than eat should marry the woman who would rather shop than cook.

There is no perfect marriage for there are no perfect people. -French Proverb

To marry a woman for her beauty is like buying a house for its paint.

Try praising your wife even if it does frighten her at first. -Billy Sunday (1862–1935)

Variability is one of the virtues of a woman. It obviates the crude requirements of polygamy. If you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem. -G. K. Chesterton (1874–1936)

When I was a young man, I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her—but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. -Robert Schumann (1810–1856)

When marriage becomes a solution for loneliness . . . it rarely satisfies. -Steve Goodier

When will there be an end of marrying? I suppose, when there is an end of living. -Tertullian (c. 160–after 220)

Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. -Benjamin Franklin (1706–1790)

Jesus on Adultery, Polygamy, and Divorce

For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. (Rom 7:2-3)

The Mosaic Law was one-sidedly in favor of the man. The man could be polygamous, could divorce his wife, and also keep concubines. On the contrary, the woman could be married to only one man and was tied to him as long as he lived. She could not divorce her husband.

However, Jesus changed that when He drew the attention of the Lawyers of His day to the Original Ruling in Genesis 2. In Matthew 5:31-32, He ruled: "Furthermore it has been said, `Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” (Mat 5:31-32). This ruling doesn’t still call the man who divorces his wife as adulterer, but says that the divorced woman was caused to commit adultery. How can a mere divorce cause a woman to commit adultery? This ruling is pretty hard. It implies that the act of divorce, if not for the reason of sexual immorality, makes an adulteress of the woman. In other words, by trying to invalidate a marriage through divorce, after having had sexual relationship with a woman within marriage, a man has made the woman an adulteress (since she has already been in relationship with him, but is not now his wife as he claims). This is so because in the eyes of Jesus, no marriage is revocable. So if there is a relationship within marriage, it is pure; however, if there is a divorce subsequent to this so that the man is no longer the woman’s husband, then she has been made an adulteress for having had consensual sex with a man who refuses to call himself her husband.

In Matthew 19:3-9, Jesus gives the ruling more in favor of the woman.

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' "and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

Jesus makes it clear that a married couple, joined, become one flesh; that Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of people’s hearts, but this is not the natural law of God for humans; that a man who divorces his wife for any reason except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery. In other words, firstly, such divorce is invalid. Secondly, if a man marries another woman while his wife is still living, it amounts to adultery. Obviously, this implies an argument also against polygamy. In other words, Jesus makes it clear that it is not just not the case that a woman cannot marry another man while her husband is there; neither can a man marry another woman while his wife is still there (the divorce is invalid). But, it also means that a man cannot have more than one wife.

But, what about cases in which the man is abusive and a threat? What about marriages that are non-consensual? What about a woman who has been divorced or a man whose wife leaves him? The Bible has answers for all such questions. However, our objective here has been chiefly the ruling of Christ in favor of the original law of God in Genesis.

Three H's of Marriage from Hebrews 13:4

"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge." (Heb 13:4)

1. Marriage is Honourable. Not something to be ashamed of, not a sin, but considered  honorable by God.
2. Marriage is Holy. Bed must be undefiled. Marriage is a sacred and holy relationship between a woman and a man. It must not be violated in any way.
3. Marriage is Heavenly. Whom God joins, let no man put asunder. God is the Judge who is Lord over the marital covenant. He will judge adulterers and whoremongers; those who are unfaithful to the marriage covenant, have carnal lustings and who go after prostitutes.

3 Important Truths about Marriage - Sermon Notes

CUT
COVENANT
UNION
TYPE

1. Marriage is a COVENANT of Love.

The saying, "Love is blind" is often quoted. But, the saying is not biblical. It was Shakespeare who in, Two Gentlemen of Verona stated "Love is blind."

Bible doesn’t call love blind but hatred as blind.

(1Jo 2:9-11 NKJ)
9 He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness until now.
10 He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him.
11 But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

But, lust is blind… as in all sinful violation of love.. carnal romance, adultery...
Young people don’t be misguided by the songs that adulterers and fornicators write. Our present world has become so duped that it is lesbians and gays who are now writing the songs of love. What wickedness! They are not songs of true love. These are not models of love, but of those who have failed to know love through their multiple marriages and divorces. If you would like to see what true love is all about, then turn to the Book of Love, the Bible.

Marriage is a Covenant, not a contract… Contract of love is impossible for love is not a commercial property. When you make love a conditional property, it becomes harlotry. You fix a price. It is sin. You cannot make an agreement to love each other for a period of time or on some conditions. Love is not subject to any contract. Love is the fruit of the Spirit (not work of the flesh).

The salesman who smiles at you and the receptionist who salutes you may not be showing love; but merely fulfilling a contract.. to smile and to look genial.

Marital love is not a contract. It is a covenant. Because love is sacred. The Bible says God is Love.

God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. (1Jo 4:16 NKJ)
When you enter the marital covenant of love, you make a commitment that is life-long.

Mal. 2:16: God hates divorce. In none of the symbolisms does God ever divorce His covenant people.

Bonhoeffer: It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on it is the marriage that sustains your love.

2. Marriage is a UNION of two bodies

When God brought Eve before Adam, he called her the flesh of his flesh and the bone of his bones.

The First Marital Declaration:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Gen 2:24 NKJ)

"So, husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it." (Eph 5:28-29 NKJ)

This is an interesting mystery. The wife is not the other-half (it is not a biblical doctrine, but a non-biblical one). It is not a woman that makes the man complete or the man who makes the woman complete. They are both complete in themselves. If a man is unmarried, he is not incomplete. The Bible doesn’t say that the man is half-body until he marries a woman, then his body is complete and so his wife is the other-half body. You cannot make foolish extensions of a metaphor. A wifeless man is not a bodiless head walking around. In fact that symbolism doesn’t emerge as long as one is not married; it only emerges to describe a relationship. For, as soon as you enter the marital covenant of love, both of you assume responsibility towards each other through a oneness; this oneness is expressed in the metaphor of head and body, and of the union of flesh.

Again, the Bible never says that the woman is joined to the man. It says the man is joined to the woman. And, this joining is effected by a man leaving his parents; which is essential, because now he has a family of his own and he has become the head.

But, the head of the man is Christ. A man is incomplete as long as Christ is not his head. A man who tries to derive his strength from a woman will fail to provide leadership in his family. The man must derive his strength from his Head, Christ. In Him we are complete. Similarly, a woman who looks to derive her strength from her husband will fail to be a good wife, for she will fall with her husband when he falls like it happened with Adam and Eve; but, when she derives her strength from Christ, she becomes a good help meet. In all relationships, Christ comes in between. He is the Mediator. He is the Master. He is the Head. Christ is Head of both the man and the woman.

But, a man is not head of a family unless he is married to a wife. And so, the institution of marriage is given for the propagation of the human family as a social unit. God joins the two and makes them one because he seeks godly offspring (Mal.2:15).

“Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.” (Mal 2:15 NIV)

Now, a head is made for only one body. The husband is the head of his wife. The mother-in-law is not the head of the daughter-in-law and the father-in-law is not the head of the daughter-in-law. Of course, the woman also leaves. But, her leaving is not mentioned because in the event of leaving, the leading role belongs to the husband. And the leaving of the man doesn’t mean that he forsakes his parents; but, it means that he assumes the role of a head separate from them. 1Timothy 5:8: If anyone doesn’t provide for his own (parents esp), he is worse than an unbeliever.

BOOK OF RUTH. A story of relations. When the husband dies and Naomi has no one left, Ruth doesn’t leave her, because she knows that she was responsible towards her mother-in-law in the same way that her husband was. She didn’t say, “Well, now with his death, the contract is over and I am free.” But, there are deeper mysteries in that book which we can’t talk of now. The book is tremendously resourceful.


3. Marriage is a TYPE of the Relation between Christ and the Church

Type- Foreshadow. The Reality is the Eternal. Marriage is Temporal (Not temporary). Jesus said that in the resurrection there won’t be marriages. But, there is that eternal relationship between Christ the Bride and His Body, the Church.

For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones (Eph 5:30 NKJ)

Eph.5:22-33
Christ is Head – Husband is Head
Church is subject – Wives must submit in all things
Christ loved the Church and gave Himself – Husbands must so love their wives

It is not a thrill if you are married here in this shadow, but are not part of that Grand Marriage of the Lamb which is the reality. This is only a shadow of the real. And when you honor this, you honor that.

Also, to the congregation, we have a wedding banquet here today, but remember there is a greater banquet, the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. Are you ready for that? Do you have the Wedding Garments on?

CUT – Covenant, Union, Type
- Honor the Covenant
- Love each other as self
- Live the Eternal symbol

Is Polygamy Allowed in the New Testament Era? Practical Issues

Elkanah and His Two Wives. Wikimedia

It is indisputable that polygamy was allowed by the Mosaic Law in the Old Testament (Deut.21:15). However, the New Testament extols monogamy as a virtue (1Tim.3:2,12; 5:9). In the New Testament, remarriage is only allowed in the case of the death of the spouse (1Tim.5:14).

However, polygamy certainly was not the original marital institution. In the Old Testament, it was allowed because of the hardness of human hearts due to sin. The Law was given for the lawless (1Tim.1:9; Matt.19:5,6,8). One must note that even in the Old Testament unrestricted polygamy was not allowed (Deut.17:17).

...the commandments of Grace are tougher and more demanding than the commandments of the Law. The Bible tells us that the Law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came with Jesus Christ (John 1:17). Jesus ushered in the era of Grace. Not that grace was absent in the Old Testament; but that grace could only be available even in the Old Testament because of the Lamb that was slain from the foundation of the earth. And, when Christ came Grace came in reality, for until then everything was only shadows (Col.2:17). Therefore, it says, "Grace and truth came with Jesus Christ".

The commandments of Grace, therefore, supersede the commandments of the Law. Grace teaches us true righteousness (Tit.2:11,12; Matt.5:20).

Thus, certain things that were allowed in the Old Testament (like divorce, swearing, polygamy, and tit-for-tat ethics) are not allowed anymore in the New Testament (Matt.5:31,34, 38,39). Most of these things were allowed because of the hardness of human hearts, but God never originally intended them so (Matt.19:8). However, in the Age of Grace when His Grace transforms our hearts, we are called to love our neighbor as ourselves and to pray for our enemies, we are called not to resist evil people but turn our left cheek to someone who slaps on our right (i.e. severely insults and humiliates us). The demands of Grace are higher than the demands of the Law. [Grace Above Law]

In the earlier days of Christian work in Africa, the missionaries came face to face with the problem of polygamy. The question of what a person who has turned to Christ do with his multiple wives became an issue. To abandon them might mean doing injustice to them (since, they had come into the relationship before) and unwanted subjection of women and children to suffering. However, in most cases, the churches decided that those who had many wives should not be permitted to be baptized until they have sent away all the other wives except one (usually the first wife). It was also decided that a polygamist who becomes a believer may be admitted for lay leadership but not for ordination. This, however, had been met by severe criticisms with leaders objecting that "the usual practice of enforcing the separation of wives from their husbands, upon their conversion to Christianity, is quite unwarrantable, and opposed to the plain teaching of our Lord." (See Muthengi, p.71). Another view that the previous polygamist must keep only the first legal wife and take care of the other wives as sisters (having no sexual relationship with them) is also not without criticism.

A few more facts must be noted about the relationship between the Old Order of Law and the New Order of Grace:

1. The validity of the Old Law was not annulled by the New (Matt.5:17)
2. However, what was put to death in the New, with regard to the Old, was not supposed to be resurrected again (Rom.7:4; Luke 5:36,37; Col.2:20,21)
3. The old only gradually vanishes and fades away in the presence of the New (Heb.8:13). For instance, Paul didn't altogether give up the observance of the Old Testament Law and visiting the Temple, although he preached the New Testament. Similarly, Jesus also asked the lepers to show themselves to the priests after He healed them.
4. One must remember that Grace is not Lawless, but is the Original Law that teaches the perfect righteousness of God (Tit.2:11,12).

And so, with regard to pre-baptism polygamists we can say that the New Testament does not say that their marriages within the Old system was not legal (but, with regard to the hardness of hearts); however, it declares them to be no longer binding within the New Covenant, in the same way that it was no longer binding for the Apostles to visit the Temple every year anymore. However, one must no longer approach this issue after the manner of the rigidity of Law (in a legalistic pattern; for the New Testament is not merely about law) but after the spirit of Grace. Thus, to even put away the wives without proper "restitution" would be more evil. Also, since marriage is seen as a covenant, the comparison with cases of how the New Testament deals with some Old Testament issues like Temple law or even Slavery Laws may only be a little proximate, but not exactly mirroring. Further, we do note that slavery was not immediately abolished under the New Testament. Both the Temple Laws, for the Jewish Christians, and the Slavery Laws were still applicable except that the New Testament introduced the element of grace and the Christian was no longer legally required to visit the Temple, and while slavery was allowed, the masters were instructed to not be violent against the slaves, but even as the slaves were to serve the masters as slaves to Christ, the masters were to treat their slaves remembering that they had a Master in heaven (Eph.6:5-9). Christ came in the middle as Lord of both. But, the issue becomes a little complicated with regard to the issue of pre-baptism polygamy, and we cannot specify a general rigid rule for every situation. While the principles of justice are universal, the manner in which justice is to be meted out in a particular situation is only determined after a proper assessment of that situation. That is where one needs divine wisdom.

In any case, however, the New Testament gives no rationale for allowing polygamous sexual relationships. For, if the "hardness of heart" has already been dealt with already, then "loving wife as Christ loved His Church" is the spirit reflected even in the Song of Songs (the Old Testament book written by the most polygamist king ever), leaving no excuse.

External Resources
Julius K. Muthengi, "Polygamy and the Church in Africa"
Josphat Yego, "Polygamy and the African Church"